Wednesday, November 24, 2010

a mother for 45 hours

I had not sat down to give you all details and pictures of our new baby because we were busy, busy and tired.
But today things took a terrible turn for us.
I had agreed to take the baby girl to a visit at her home county office 60 miles from my home. Little sleep last night, but we were on the road at 8:45 and made it to the 10 am visit. I handed the baby over and her SW needed to talk to me. We knew our baby had a two year old sibling and I specifically asked if they had been ruled out for placement when they offered the baby to us. Apparently I know the rules better than the social workers because they told me we were good to go. Not so much. At 10:15 I get told we have to give the baby to the other family, and the sooner the better.
I was alone, hubby and stepson at home prepping for Thanksgiving. I had to drive home in holiday traffic, while sobbing and talking to myself. Then break the news to my husband who is scooping up the baby and telling her he has missed "his girl." He was dumb founded, pissed off and called the agency. No one can say anything except sorry. Our agency doesn't "transport" but my husband was so sad and I am glad he stood his ground. He told them we would bring them the baby and they could work out getting the baby to the other family. I had more time to absorb the situation, Hubby and son were sobbing as we fed her and took goodbye pictures. Keeping her any longer would have made it worse I think. So at 2 pm this afternoon we took her to our agency and handed her over to our SW.
For the last kick in the groin? They needed to borrow our car seat for her - yeah awesome.

21 comments:

Jo said...

There are no words. I am so sorry...your loss is tangible and real and completely undeserved. You will be in my thoughts in the coming weeks.

RELH said...

Omgoodness, I am deelpy saddened for you all.

Krystal said...

No words could say how truly sorry I am to hear what happened. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

KC said...

This is the terrible and I can't believe they are so unprofessional and so incompotent! I am disgusted that they could do this to you. How could they not look into that before they promised you that baby girl. How insensitive, they should be held accountable!

Karen said...

My heart is breaking for you all. You are in my thoughts. K.

Scout said...

I'm so so sorry. This is heartbreaking. My thoughts are with you.

Melissa said...

bee - this breaks my heart in 10 million piecess. i am so so so so sorry. i just know, i really do, i just know, that all of this absolutely craziness is making you the best mama ever. and your baby is out there waiting to come to you. i just wish i knew where and when. i am praying for you!

Kelly said...

This is just horrible. I'm so, so sorry you're going through this. (((HUGS)))

Kelly said...

I'm so sorry. I know just how this feels. I know first hand how badly this hurts. I also know that this is not super helpful, but at least it was 45 hours, and not six months. It takes a really long time for your heart to heal from six months of loving a child to have them go away in a days notice. I'm thinking of you often.

MoonNStarMommy said...

OMG my heart is breaking for you :( I am so so sorry you are going through this....
ICLW

Grace said...

oh.my.gosh.
just catching up...and, wow.
i am SO sorry for your loss. i have no words. my heart is so sad for you. :(

tasivfer said...

That is just unimaginably devastating! I'm so sorry. :-(

lis said...

when you are feeling better you need to post the name of that agency. so we know who NOT to work with.

i am so, so desperately sorry.

i know there are no words right now. sending peace and comfort.
xoxo
lis

Searching said...

I am SO sorry!!! How absolutely devastating. :(

Katie said...

Here from LFCA. I am so devastated for you. :( You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. <3

loribeth said...

Here from LFCA. This is so, so heartbreaking. :( I am furious on your behalf at that agency for not checking things better before letting you take that baby home. Many (((HUGS))).

Denver Laura said...

{{hugs}}

From experience, when you get the next call, ask who the child's caseworker is. If it's the same one, turn down the placement. I feel the cw makes the difference in a good and bad placement.

It hurts. Take the time to rearrange all the paperwork, file it and wait for the next call. It WILL happen.

Mo and Will said...

This is horrible. I am so very sorry.

Mo

Roccie said...

I am so very sorry for your loss. I am so very sorry.

CoffeeBlue said...

Here from LFCA. So sorry that you are goign through this. I hope your baby finds you soon....

Virginia said...

My God, that's terrible. I am so, so sorry.