Thursday, September 30, 2010

poor kitty

My cat is dying. I don't know when, but it's got to be soon. She doesn't seem to be in pain, but she obviously has very low energy. She can't keep her food down and is now eating and drinking very little. Okay, I knew this was coming, she is 19.5 human years old. In cat years she's a 94 year old lady and still very spry until a few weeks ago. I hate to "put her to sleep." Even though it is merciful in many situations it still feels like taking a life. I don't think I can do it this time, not unless she seems to be in intolerable pain. AND tomorrow is the teenager's 14th B day! It would so suck to have the cat die on his birthday :o(. Friends are coming over after school, and you know, cat death is a real downer. What ever happened to the simple days of my childhood when cats just ran away, never to be seen again?

Monday, September 20, 2010

I lied

Ya'll probably saw right through it. I have not completed all the projects/tasks that I have wanted to finish before we get our child placed. I just feel like a cheesy whiney pity party right now.

Uhmmmm so, the other stuff I do besides whine and pout and complain about being well paid to do virtually nothing is to be CRAFTY. So I think I'll focus on that for a while, sound good people? I have been getting a little sick of myself.

Hard part is focusing long enough to complete a craft.

Here's a picture of a little shrine I made after one of my early miscarriages.
So in this little box we have a pear in the background and a shrinky dink baby hanging by a read thread. Written around the outside is a quote from Kurt Vonnegut. "I wanted all things to seem to make some sense, so we could all be happy, yes, instead of tense. And I made up lies, so they all fit nice, and I made this sad world a paradise."     
Here is a rare occaision to chime in - what project should I take on next?
A) Getting "Toe Sock Chicken" into production for my Etsy Store?
B) Scrapbooking our remodeling project that was mostly done 2 years ago?
C) OR finally refinishing the 1800s style school desk that is in pieces in the garage?
D) None of the above.

Happy ICLW everyone - looking forward to lots of good reading this week!

Friday, September 17, 2010

Foster Kitty

Distraction is always good for me. I can get obsessive, especially about negative happenings. I was enjoying prepping for the baby that doesn't live here yet, but now it feels a little embarrassing. Like buying your wedding dress before you've even met Mr./Ms. Right. Styles change, bodies change, my personal taste changes. If I knew what age or size child I was getting ready for we could do a few more things. As for now I am at a stand still.

I had my mind set on a placement taking at least 6 months, well now we are into 7 months. I have been hoping to take the holidays off to bond with our child, and now the holidays are coming very soon. I was hoping to visit family at Christmas with our new child in tow. But I need to be able to buy tickets soon for Christmas, and I don't know how many to buy.

I had projects I planned to complete before we had a baby in our house. They are done. I need come up with new distractions. I am afraid of the sadness of another birthday without a child or another Christmas. I was hoping to "trick or treat" this year.

Last week I had a day or two of distraction in the form of a fluffy kitten!

foster kitty - aka: princess G, T Rex, Sam and finally *Ponyo*

A momma cat that lives outside of our work building gave birth to six babies. My old kitty is still around and not interested in sharing her home, but a friend needed my help. She was not ready for the kitten to come home to her kids. As well the kitty was used to living in the bushes and was quite a fighter. I agreed to keep the kitty until he could settle down. Foster kitty was brought through the house and set up in our master bath where old Carly would never find him. He hid behind the toilet and explored when he was alone. He would "spit" when you reached to pick him up, but if you didn't fall for it he was happy to be held. By the end of 24 hours he was meowing when we left him alone and wanting to follow us everywhere.

The hubby called it - time for kitty to go to his new family. I think it needed to happen before Hubby and stepson fell in love. So kitty was sent home with this little girl and her family. I hear he loves to be wrapped in baby blankets. I'm sure he'll be wearing clothes soon.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

back to square one

Well, looks like NONE of the potential matches are coming our way.
2 yr old toddler boy landed in another family as did the 3 month old girl. The potential relinquishment due in September changed her mind. The kid we heard about in June is still a question mark, but I think family will take him along with his sister instead of splitting them up.
Our home study was submitted for a 7 month old caucasian child with some health issues, but the SW says she is flooded with interest. Not really interested in her anyway (protective mode.) We are wanting to give a brown child a home and I know lots of people want white baby girls, so she'll find a perfect spot.

I don't like this - not one bit. It's just as bad as getting your period. Bonus! - you have the added pain of knowing a social worker assessed you to be not as good as someone else.

Awesome, apparently we suck.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

national Teddy Bear day

Also known as our wedding anniversary! And wonderful weirdos day - especially in Austin TX. And the day California became the 31st state.
I have been working on our history together - my goodness time flies and we have been very busy.
Happy Anniversary my dearest husband :o)