drum roll please!

We met with Birth Mom, her attorney and the county social worker today after their visit.

SHE ASKED US TO ADOPT Little Man!!!!! So officially she is giving up her rights to reunification services and designating us as the people she wants to adopt her child!!! Court will be scheduled for next week so they can make that part official. Then the 26 hearing for termination of parental rights. Noticing to 2 other potential fathers to come forward for testing. All in all a finalized adoption takes time, but we are well on our way!!!

She said she wanted him to have a good home and can see how bonded he is to us. She wanted to tell us herself. The first thing I said is "are you sure?" then Yes of course and Thank You was in there too. I can hardly believe it. I feel emotionally exhausted. Still there are many questions and details about continued contact for us to discuss. Visits are being decreased right away, so less disruption to LM's schedule.

It is no longer a fantasy - our LM is not going anywhere :o).  

OMG I just found this fortune on my desk - "Your dream will come true when you least expect it."  Wow.

wrapping up loose ends

. . . well that's what I WANT to do, but it's not gonna happen tonight.

I find myself waiting for news or answers so I can write a coherent post for ya'll. I want to wrap up my concerns and put a neat bow on them. I fear if I posted daily about the changes and details of our life it would be a horrible roller coaster ride!

But I do know a few things right now . . .
1.  I am not going to die right now from anything going on in "ma belleh" I had a CT scan this morning and everything looks normal. So my belly pains are unexplained, but as of today they are much better.

2.  I had a great interview last week! And right now I am waiting to get an official job offer. :o)

3.  LM had  roseola last week, but he is fine right now.

4.  Biggest news (and the cliff hanger until next post.) Birth Mom and her attorney want to meet with Hubby and I tomorrow after the baby's visit. The county Social Worker did not tell me what the meeting is about, but did say it not anything bad. Of course my mind is filling in the blanks and making up wonderful stories right now. Stay tuned.

Hey remember that Van Halen song

Van Halen - Right Now by VividJame

enjoy now until later

Wanting

Woke up feeling anxious.

Nasty weird dream about rain and our house floating off its foundation. Woke up feeling very unsettled. And tired. LM got up at 4:30 ish and just needed holding, I was sleepy, but it was nice. Okay the dream might be related to the "rain sound" CD that LM sleeps to and the novel I am reading The Children's Hospital, at any rate I woke with a feeling of anticipation and possible doom!

I WANT the new job. Today I go for the second interview to meet the big wigs.

I WANT LM to stay with us forever. Visits are to be increased and I am nervous about how it will all come together. December is the end of 6 months of services for Birth mom. LM will be almost 1 year old. I can't imagine him leaving us. I can't imagine him living in a home that is not ours. Way in the back of my brain I know it is possible, but in order to keep my sanity and care for my baby boy, I have to believe he is ours forever.

I will deal with reality when it changes.

where are we now ?

Okay, here's what I have been told. Court case has moved past the Juris/Dispo level and now we are into 6 months of services for mother, finally! No bio father has been found, and sounds like all leads are coming up dry. The potential to place with Grandmother is a dead issue.

There was a suspicion on the part of the Bio mom's attorney that somehow we "pulled strings" and got this placement as a favor. (Yeah right!) The placement with us was being contested and it felt really bad to think our Little Man could be moved because of the appearance of shady dealings. At any rate I guess the right people were asked the right questions AND bio mom is happy with the placement with us so the issue has been dropped.

Bio mom is going to have 6 hrs per week of visitation. I am going to assume this means 3 - 2 hr visits, but I have not been contacted officially yet.

Little Man is funnier everyday. And at just over 5 months he is eating eagerly and self feeding with those weird rice "crackers."

The biggest news is about me! I have a great job interview last week and I am going for the second interview on Tuesday. I have been unhappy in my job many years and am ready to move on. The new job will be mentally challenging and VERY close to home. Plus I get to work with a friend! Oh please let this all come together. Other item about me - not so fun. Been having belly pain for a couple of weeks. I am scheduled to have a CT scan on the 21st of this month.

things are looking UP

Our Little Man is alomst 5 months old and full of smiles, slobber, grunts, and funny sounds. Last week . . . nope, no resolution officially at court, but a shift did happen.

Monday visitation is supervised by our agency's social worker. Birth mom had lots of questions about myself and hubby. She also stated that her mother said NO to raising the baby (again.) And Birth mom said she liked that LM was happy and clean with us and asked if we could adopt him if she cannot get him back!

Holy yippee bat man! I don't know who has been talking to her, but someone has and we could not be more thrilled! Last Friday due to county staffing issues I supervised the visit and she asked me the same thing :o). I just told her she need never worry - LM can stay with us forever.

No word on paternity results yet. The county social worker tells me she thinks the potential father only agreed to test because she threatened to come out to his house. AND he is married with children, so looks like he is trying to keep this possibility quiet for now. It is doubtful that he would want services.

Again I am told 6/6/11 is THE date for jurisdiction, hi ho, we'll see . . . (sigh) anyway.