Tuesday, November 29, 2011

out of touch

Been so long since I have posted . . . I'm not sure how the other moms do it. I have no time at work to check the blogs or write my own.
Life is good enough. Hubby and I need to get our lives back sooner or later. Little Man is wonderful, funny and cuter everyday of course.
Adoption still not final, parental rights not terminated yet, but it is getting closer to the BIG .26 hearing!

Here is the latest surprising emotional roller coaster for our adoption journey.

Okay - so we are adopting from foster care. Everyone gets that part, parent losing their rights child in danger etc. Well it is a little different for us. 

First we have no birth father, nope, none, nada, immaculate type conception I guess. Legally we have put that issue to rest. Of course at some point that question will come up. And I am sure it will be revisited at different developmental ages. But dang - how do you explain that birth mom doesn't know who birth father is, when you don't even understand it??

Next - the birth mom never hurt our child, but he was in danger, due to her mental condition. People make a lot of assumption when you have adopted from foster care. AND we got our baby when he was 10 days old - really an ideal situation for a child in foster care, no excessive placement changes.

Since mother eventually expressed she would like to relinquish her reunification rights instead of participating in the services offered, we have another twist. Mom's attorney has requested we have a future legal agreement for continued contact through LM's life.

Last week we met with a mediator and discussed many options. I know it is good for LM but it is really hard to predict the future and be held to an agreement for the next 17 years with a person I know VERY little about. We have been told over and over that we do not have a legal obligation to make this agreement, but I am trying to be open. After our first meeting, the mediator went back to birth mom to negotiate with her.

I got word back last night - Birth mom doesn't want face to face visits - ever. Says it would be too hard on her. I started crying, it felt so final. I hope our family and our life together is enough for LM. I hope lack of birth parents is not a huge hole in his heart.


Logical Libby said...

It will all be okay. He's your boy.

Anonymous said...

I always have the same hope for my Mea, that we are enough. I think we are, and I think you are, too.