Thursday, November 27, 2008

transfer eve

'twas the night before transfer and all through the house not a single one was sleeping, not even my spouse.
Well that's it for now I gotta go to bed so I can hit an early sale or two before our transfer at 10 am!

Monday, November 24, 2008

lucky number 7

So the thaw went well for all 7 embryos. Now we see how they grow. I wonder if is helpful for me to admit I am fearful of pregnancy? I am concerned that I will have complications, unbearable pain, and be miserable for 9 months, AND THEN be disappointed with the stresses of motherhood. Is it horrible that I have more negative images in my mind than happy ones? I've seen some of the worst things that can happen to children first hand. Can I let myself have a normal pregnancy? Could my child grow up to be a healthy and happy adult? Why am I on the other end - don't most people expect everything to go well?
Am I trying to influence the outcome by choosing to thaw 7? What a freak I am.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

and then it all changes . . .

So I made an appointment for friday 11/21, day 13 of my cycle. I was supposed to go in on day 14-16, but I wanted to see Dr. G only and friday would have to be the day. I had a pretty good feeling that my lining would look normal now that all other medication is out of my system. There is was 8mm! I actually said "I told you so! Lupron is not my friend." And he said, so let's do a transfer this month!
I had not even considered this . . . awesome I guess, what about all the shots? I haven't been on anything, uh sure I guess we can. So the real beauty is I have now avoided all of the anxiety of cycle preparation and wondering if my body can be ready for an embryo. Yeah!! The plan goes like this - I had a big fat follicle on cycle day 13, but no LH surge yet, so they gave me a shot of HSG. I got back on the prenatal vitamin bandwagon and am taking daily aspirin. I told the Dr. I want 7 embryos thawed so we are assured of getting one or two day 5 blasts. He wanted to thaw 4, but I told him, we aren't doing this much longer, this might be my last try regardless of the outcome. Tonight I begin my medrol and antibiotic for a transfer next week. Day 3 would be Wednesday before Thanksgiving, but i am shooting for Black Friday. This gives it a whole new meaning . . . I guess I'm not going shopping :o(. At very least I will have more pictures of embryos to post.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

planning continues . . .

So the end of September was not what i wanted it to be. After a final push of acupuncture and more hormones my lining was just not good enough. The day I found out that I would not get to do a transfer I felt so broken. Dang I can't even grow a lining??? Eggs got fertilized anyway and 14 zygotes sit in a very expensive freezer waiting for the chance to become more. They even sent me a picture of the 14 little blobs. October was to be my transfer month, of course i already had the due date figured out for June. Now we have a sort of plan - I met with the Dr. he wanted to do another hysteroscopy free of charge - whoopie - it still hurts! We did that on friday last week, the best part was the "cocktail" of drugs. Valium, vicodin and toradil injection. Really? Not the fun high I expected at all, in fact not much of anything. It still hurt, cramping enough to make you sweat, but when the cramps stopped we went shopping. Perfect uterus just like before. Next step is to look at my normal unmedicated lining on day 14 and then I don't know. I hope we can set up to do a frozen transfer in December.