Okay now - sorry to be misleading, but you won't find Jamie and Adam here, try the Discovery Channel. This post is to bust one of the many myths surrounding family building after the diagnosis of infertility.
"You can always adopt a baby!"
Nope really you can't. There are many qualifications expected of adoptive families. Type of adoption doesn't really matter.
International adoption comes with the most specifics. My hubby and I have been married before to other people. Some countries would want us to then wait to apply until we have been married 10 years, by then we would be out of their age range.
Money is an issue of course. Maybe you already shot your wad on IVF - oops no cash for that domestic adoption. And crazy as it sounds domestic adoptions are cheaper for browner children. Makes me sick to think this country still doesn't value all children equally.
Foster/adoption - not for the faint of heart. Yes you may get a baby placed in your home, but can you tolerate the limbo of the court system for months or years? How will you eventually explain the family formation to your child? Can you stand to have your heart broken once again? Are you ready to take on the traumatized child's pain? If you stick with it (and pass the background check, etc.) this is a sure fire way to become a parent, but at what emotional cost for everyone involved?
see more myths here
good luck all wanna bee mommies and daddies - fingers crossed for all of us
"You can always adopt a baby!"
Nope really you can't. There are many qualifications expected of adoptive families. Type of adoption doesn't really matter.
International adoption comes with the most specifics. My hubby and I have been married before to other people. Some countries would want us to then wait to apply until we have been married 10 years, by then we would be out of their age range.
Money is an issue of course. Maybe you already shot your wad on IVF - oops no cash for that domestic adoption. And crazy as it sounds domestic adoptions are cheaper for browner children. Makes me sick to think this country still doesn't value all children equally.
Foster/adoption - not for the faint of heart. Yes you may get a baby placed in your home, but can you tolerate the limbo of the court system for months or years? How will you eventually explain the family formation to your child? Can you stand to have your heart broken once again? Are you ready to take on the traumatized child's pain? If you stick with it (and pass the background check, etc.) this is a sure fire way to become a parent, but at what emotional cost for everyone involved?
see more myths here
good luck all wanna bee mommies and daddies - fingers crossed for all of us
3 comments:
Adoption and foster care are both so heartbreaking. We are in the early stages of adoption with a possible family foster situation and it terrifies me more than IF treatments! The race based fees in adoption are sickening. I'm glad someone else feels the same. Great post!!
So true. In so many ways, and then some.
Foster/adoption is not for the faint of heart. It's hard. The rewards can be so worth it.
Whenever I think about the pricing structure of adoption I get so mad I can't stand it. Then I just think that racism is expensive...
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