on edge

Not because of the baby, no Little Man is still awesome. Sometimes he sleeps a little less, sometimes a bit more.
No I am on edge because tomorrow we meet his birth mother. This is an organized meeting between all parties involved to communicate about care of the child. And, I suppose, to form partnerships in the reunification process. All good things.
I prefer my current illusion of LM as my forever child. I know its a lie I tell myself. I know it is for his good that we find out as much as we can about his bio family and support his mother in getting well. Maybe they have even identified a father by now. It would be nice for LM to at least know who the guy is or was. I can run wild in my head making up the endings to stories, maybe we'll hear some facts tomorrow. I must suppress the urge to present myself as the superior parental choice for LM because truth is, it is not a choice right now. The court has its standards and bio parents hold the rights.
No matter what LM gets a "win" and that is good.