Monday, January 18, 2010

the Stork part deux

So the adoption Stork is coming out to our house on friday. One last look to check that the knives are locked away and poison isn't being served as snacks. Our adoption Stork also needs to speak with the 13 year old boy in our house - who speaks less and less everyday - good luck lady!

What's really on my mind is loss of control. Up until now I have had a feeling of control over this adoption process. Nope, nothing is happening at our house until we get the paperwork together and hand it over, so there, you can't make me until I'm good and ready! I consciously chose to ease through the holidays without the possibility of a baby. But now we are reaching the end of any illusion of calling the shots. By the end of January our homestudy should be complete, approved and ready to present to the world. Will we have a baby in March? Will we be called to take a child we are not sure about? How do you possibly make the right decision.

(Later that same week. . .)

The Adoption Stork came and went, and now the ball is in her court.

Yay, I guess. . . problem is, now we wait. How long, no one can tell. This is normal and expected, but ABNORMAL things have been happening in child welfare in our area.

First of all I work for a county and therefore cannot adopt from my own county. Okay, fine. The economy has hit child welfare hard, layoffs, policy changes, and high stress levels. And in a very ironic turn of events MANY fewer babies are being removed from their drug using mothers at birth. Not sure if the baby fountain has "dried up" in other counties, but boy are things different than 1 year ago.

Technically, depending on how you look at the law - it is not necessarily child abuse if the bad things happened before a kid was born. So in order to have your baby removed from your care - we need to see the physical harm first. Wow, here we go again. Kids have to be hurt before being protected.

stepping off my soap box now - I know I can't save the world. I just want to be a mom.

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