Tuesday, August 26, 2008

40 days

In 40 days I will be recieving an embryo transfer and be pregnant, at least for a little while if not all the way until June 2009. I took a big step today and have given myself permission to take some much needed time away from my crazy job. The work is not hard intellectually, but emotionally it's a killer. I spend my days hearing about and reading about abused children. Worse yet are the impossible unfair situations parents, children and the people trying to help are trying to correct with little or no resources. So it has been a giant mind &%#$! the last two years trying to have our own child, dealing with miscarriages and being constantly exposed to the ugliness of my work. I have cracked many, many times. I have worked full time since 1989 in nursing, almost 15 years for the county. I have taken vacation, but never any time longer than about 2 weeks. So I need to work it out, but I think I will be taking about 6 weeks in September and October. In these next 40 days I have promised myself to be attentive to my needs first. My tasks will include, journaling, listening to my fertility CD, drinking good tea, walking, and feeding myself well, more to come I am sure.

1 comment:

kittyquilt said...

I don't know how you survive that job- I have a hard enough time with mine and I only see a fraction of what you do. It does wear on you- reading about all the abuse (those lovely detailed reports), reading about women who have baby after baby, all of them born positive for something. There have been many days when I've gotten in my car at the end of the day and burst into tears. I have so much respect for what you do. I hope that your time off is relaxing and renewing.